Unable To Keep In Touch (In Memoriam—Thomas Flynn)

Never really got to say goodbye
Many years have now passed by
No matter what becomes my fate
Part of me regrets the space

Everyone moved away
That summer of ’92 was torture
All my friends took off to college
Feeling depressed and working collared
I did not bother—was not being a good friend at all

then…toward summer’s end…

At our last of the graduation parties
Forgot whose, could have been the booze
Memories of that time in our lives faded a bit
Remember was a small bonfire out back, smoldering pine smell
We drank from a keg of Bud Light
Tasted flat from sunlight and not enough ice
All the stars were out that night
I recall thinking
How the moonshine gripped me
Summer passed by quicker
Than initially surmised
Nobody saw me cry
Such a tough guy
Had to be
Figured my future was not aligned
Made a wish on a star that my depression
Could subside without my friends nearby
Smashed inventive phrase-coining invectives
Many amazing times automatically called to mind
Man, so much fun were those crazy nights
Only you knew I was half-dead to Life
Letting my potential seem like a waste

You were the one who first showed me New York City
That freedom agreed with me
Felt so bad you were leaving
Being jealous of so many others’ opportunities
I said nothing.  Bottled up all my feelings
For those who had become my real friends
Did not want to be seen as dumb
Everyone but Flynn thought college prestigious
Jesus, why take him so young!

We talked about girls, high school being torture
Florida State, freshman football, my 9-to-5 world
The rest of our lives we jokingly mulled over
That’s what I recall with a smile
Our conversations were never forced
I was going to visit second semester
When back in Jersey would still be shitty weather

By 3 am people were leaving
To new lives fleeing, familiar faces
Destinations of many new places
Co-eds I’ll probably never know again
And my dearest of all friends
People wishing well and peace
Sloppy drunks and tires screech
Hand shakes and hugs
Wished luck
Never in my life thought
We’d be unable to keep in touch
Still miss you very much

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