Flash Fiction 55 – Sour Note

before morning rose
park bench spent
4 am questions mid-life
sitting sidewalk slumped
spring rain, smell dogwoods
scratching head lice
pulse, afterbirth, light
for all of life
background chirps luck
fair warbles hearing
most absurd
scribbling fool
not living
letters written
thinking threw him
chill finally moves him
his sour note deposited
into mesh garbage

________________________
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*55 Fiction (nanofiction)

33 Responses to “Flash Fiction 55 – Sour Note”

  1. moondustwriter Says:

    I’m really getting into this flash fiction stuff. Takes talent to weave a story in 55 words.

    Great 55!

    thankful for you
    Leslie

  2. Hey Leslie! I’m definitely enjoying this form. It’s both challenging and fun.
    Appreciate your kindness. Hope your weekend is going well. Thank you πŸ™‚

  3. Very nicely done Dustus. You are really good at these short stories with only 55 words. I agree with Leslie it takes real talent to be able to do that. I do enjoy your awesome talent.

  4. I’m grateful for the compliment, Viola. Thank you

  5. You’ve drawn a vivid picture here, I like it.

  6. very cool dustus…you should hook up with us one friday over at g-mans. sure the rest of the gang would love to read your work. i usually drop mine thursday night after 8 pm and leave a comment at g-man’s…

    • Your 55s are amazing, Brian. They have inspired this attempt. Thanks. Can’t wait to try another for Friday πŸ™‚

  7. This is so cool, Adam.Never heard of this form. You described a vivid image and wove a very believable moment. I enjoyed this.

  8. very nice indeed.
    Adam, think you can do this for the FLASH FICTION FRIDAY 55 Challenge?
    Due Thursday for Friday… you will enjoy reading others too.
    Here is the link

    http://g-man-mrknowitall.blogspot.com/2010/04/friday-flash-55_22.html

    Oh, remember to use the WordCalculator…

    http://www.wordcalc.com/

    We count the words! LOL

    I really would like others to enjoy your work too.
    Well done!
    hugs
    shakira

    • Sounds great, shakira. Thanks! I will definitely give it a shot Thursday/Friday πŸ™‚
      hugs & have a great week!

  9. Hi Leslie. I hadn’t heard of this form until recently. Think I’ve become an instant fan of the genre πŸ™‚
    Thanks
    πŸ™‚

  10. Adam (must stop calling you dustus) this is fab! I rather like this Flashfiction poetry form – first time I’ve seen it so thanks πŸ™‚ This has amazing movement – you’ve made every single word count and propel the story along!

    “sitting sidewalk slumped
    spring rain, smell dogwoods
    scratching head lice
    pulse, afterbirth, light
    for all of life”

    amazing – I can smell this! You even provided the background with ‘chirps’ and ‘warbles’ – excellent Adam! πŸ™‚

  11. LOL You may call me whichever name you’d like, Lynda

    Glad you like the details and the form. The difficult part for me was including the elements of a story in few words. Give it a try! It’s quite fun, as well as challenging.

    Have an excellent week πŸ™‚

  12. […] poets), I thought I wouldΒ try someΒ  Flash Fiction.Β  The first time I saw mention of this was by Adam’s example.Β  What is it?Β  Flash Fiction is storytelling, but in snapshot form. There’s a smashing […]

  13. nice to know that you are doing it.

    the trick is,
    you have to place your link at G-man’s blog,
    visit others who do 55 so that they get back to you….

    after a few weeks,
    they will visit you first or you visit them first…

    Good Luck!

  14. Looking forward to participating in G-man’s festivities. Thanks for the advice, Jingle. Sounds like it will be a lot of fun πŸ™‚
    Have a great week!

  15. You do take on challenges with a smile. I like this. Just have fun, and you do great! πŸ™‚

  16. it looks like something i could try.
    Thanks for the inspiration adam.
    i like it

  17. Can’t wait, K. Looking forward to seeing how you approach this form.
    Go on and give it try!
    Thanks
    πŸ™‚

  18. Amazing how you can turn 55 words into a story…wish I had that kind of talent and creativity running through my veins! Awesome job as always!

    • Thanks, Suzicate. I’m not sure about talent & creativity, but I can state unequivocally that I have too much caffeine running through my veins. lol
      Have an amazing week!

  19. Going to give it a go tomorrow if I get the time and some more energy from somewhere. Adam, it takes skill to tell a tale this good with so few words. Hope you’re good!

  20. I’m alright. Thanks πŸ™‚ Give it a try, Shan. I think the way you tell stories through your poetry will make for a smooth transition.

  21. very beautifully written. brought back the scene of some similar happenings.

  22. dear adam,
    a small gift for you is waiting on my new blog for awards πŸ™‚
    http://window2mysoul.wordpress.com/2010/04/22/friendship-cherished/

    please accept it.
    with warmest affections,

  23. A new blog? Excellent! Appreciate the previous comment. I’ll announce awards as part of my next post. Thank you for all of your kindness, trisha. Have an amazing week!
    πŸ™‚

  24. carefully chosen words, a lovely telegraphic style to relate a nice story in 55words.challenging indeed.well done sir!

  25. Thanks, wordwand. These 55s are fun πŸ™‚ Appreciate your feedback.
    cheers

  26. Very nice structure on this poem…enjoyed the story it told…nicely done.

  27. Thanks. Glad to see you’re back from Tunisia. Hope the trip was fantastic.

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