Metaphor Falls (for Poetry Rally)

Life will be better
Accepting it all
Splash screen dreams
Metaphor falls

What may exist?
Blindfolding hints
Dying to live. Well,
That wasn’t it…

Cannot think after
Brief disbelief
I swear my conceit
Delay all perceived…
Godspeed to taking leave

Clear blue sky in which
Pillow clouds lie
Water curtains fly
Mist veiling light

90 degrees, aimless and peeved
Hard to rest these pacing feet
Faith wore pride in cut-off sleeves
Journey being felt indeed

Can never say goodbye in time
Frozen sprays of moisture shine
Soothing like the moment sigh
Glimmer boring tears from eyes
Positive drawing, blood felt wine
Exuberant wishing
Missing
Fine

_______________
Care for a reading?

*photo by me
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____________________________________________________
Thanks for including me in this rally!

My nominee(s) for said rally are Lord Emmanuel and wordwand. They’re both fantastic. I just read 2 poems by them, respectively, that floored me:
“How Long” by Lord Emmanuel

“End of Spring” by wordwand

Cheers Jingle, Em, and wordwand

78 Responses to “Metaphor Falls (for Poetry Rally)”

  1. jessicasjapes Says:

    That’s good, I like the way you get the rhythm in the poem, it gives it a lilting sensation. Very effective ending too.

  2. You have got it down and I am smiling at this one. πŸ™‚ Have fun today.

    • You’re always smiling, funny lady! lol Great weather today, D. Gonna take the lap top outside in a bit. Having fun, of course πŸ™‚

  3. That’s a great poem. Flows beautifully.

  4. Hi Anthony. thanks

  5. fantastic!
    thank you for the nominations!
    I will consider very seriously this time!
    Cheers!
    πŸ˜‰

  6. Jingle, you rock! No worries πŸ˜‰ As I put on the award in YOUR honor… “Unity through Blogs” cheers, my friend

  7. whooaa…!! lovely poem Adam..
    with every post you have me speechless and spellbound and loved the pic πŸ˜€

  8. “I swear my conceit
    Delay all perceived…”
    Sums up many a life on this planet… really!
    A poem so honest and true, it has actually rendered me speechless!!! TOO GOOD!

  9. Great and beautiful work, love it πŸ™‚

  10. Very kind of you… Thanks, Marinela πŸ™‚

  11. This poem has such a beautiful flow…the 4th verse is especially smooth and lovely… I think we right ourselves in the words write… also great imagery
    in this one… thanks again for sharing. Heartspell

  12. Thought provoking… “I think we right ourselves in the words write…” Guess it’s part of being a writer, or not. I’m not sure. I’d like to not believe in vindication, but all the writing I do suggests otherwise. Thanks, heartspell. You’re thought-provoking in both posts and commentary. Thanks for taking the time to do all that. cheers

    • Should have been …I think we right ourselves in the words WE write…sorry for the typo. As if in the process, we figure ourselves out or get to know ourselves better, from the purging of what’s closest to our hearts… maybe this is too much blah, blah, blah… run-on words now slowing down to a cool-down…:) Heartspell

  13. Interesting –metaphor love your use of descriptives and comparatives. Your words flow out as powerful as the water in the spray of that fountain.

    Read it through a couple of times.

    Joanny

    • That’s cool description, Joanny. Thanks for the re-reads as well. Appreciate your encouragement. cheers

  14. everybody already told you you got wicked flow, but its true. love th imagery as well…the line that got me “faith wore pride in cut-off sleeves”…nice.

  15. Thanks, brian. Always appreciate your comments. Have an awesome 4th!

  16. you really write some of the best poems i have ever read….. amazing!!!!

  17. I’m grateful, ishabelle πŸ™‚ Extremely kind of you. Many thanks!

  18. Such a fun poem…really enjoyed reading it and hearing you read it…I like the way you played with the words.

    • It’s funny, Charles, almost every time I go to record a new one I wind up editing it different than originally written. It’s changing my entire approach to poetry writing.
      Your readings inspire.

  19. Your voice is just amazing…so very creative and with beautiful flow. As always, you leave me speechkess! πŸ™‚

  20. What a cool poem adam.

  21. Thanks, K. Always value your creative opinions.

  22. i enjoyed both the word choice and structure in this piece. i loved the images that flashed through my mind as i read your words : )

    thank you always for your kind encouragement and comments. i’m glad that we have a community member as supportive and contributive as you ~

    • Thanks, Samantha. I enjoy your poetry and especially appreciate the supportive community comment πŸ™‚ cheers

  23. Hello…thanks for stopping by my blog! I enjoyed your poem and you’re cute too!

  24. that flow very nicely.. specially hearing you reading it Adam πŸ™‚

  25. 90 degrees, aimless and peeved
    Hard to rest these pacing feet
    Faith wore pride in cut-off sleeves
    Journey being felt indeed – quite descriptive , fabulous!

  26. soulintention: signed .............bkm Says:

    love all the metophors – favorite line

    “Faith worn pride in cut-off sleeves” love it…bkm

    I have moved….

    http://signedbkm.blogspot.com

  27. A beautiful poem…You always know your way around with words that just sends the message home…and the picture you attached is really lovely.

    Thanks for the nomination….It means a lot to me…Cheers!!!

  28. A great read, well spoken.

  29. this is so very beautiful. πŸ™‚
    very soothing and peaceful, why i dont know but thats the feeling which came to my mind.
    you have nominated two of the very best human beings in our group.
    πŸ™‚

  30. trisha πŸ™‚
    Maybe the water image helps to soothe. It does for me.
    definitely, 2 great human beings were nominated. That makes 3 in a rowβ€”after I nominated you the week prior πŸ™‚
    cheers

  31. ‘Splash screen dreams’ love it! The sight of that cool squirting water made me yarn to leap in to cool down Adam!
    I love this verse;-

    Clear blue sky in which
    Pillow clouds lie
    Water curtains fly
    Mist veiling light

    Excellence is what I have come to expect from you and I’m never disappointed! Great post with a very appropriate image!

  32. Adam,

    “blood felt wine”

    Nice.

    Rhyme on!

    Tim Keeton
    (Undead)Poet / Wizard / Teller-of-tales

  33. mairmusic Says:

    the last 3 lines are fabulous1 Well written!
    http://mairmusic.wordpress.com/

    • Thanks, M. I felt like screaming those last 3 lines at one point, but glad I refrained from doing so. Glad you like it.

  34. Congratulations for winnng the Award πŸ™‚

  35. betweenhearts75 Says:

    Very well written. Loved this! And a congratulations on your award (well deserved) ~ Fantastic blog as well! Hope to view now and again as I can…wonderful writing! ~April

  36. I absolutely love that last grouping that begins “Can never say good-bye in time” . That grouping, alone, is enough. The feeling I get from it, sums up everything else for me. You are so good. πŸ™‚

  37. I try to write as well as you paint πŸ™‚
    Have an awesome weekend, Leslie!

  38. outstanding job this week.
    πŸ˜‰
    enjoy a festive weekend!

    Happy July 4th!

  39. Wow! the more I read it the deeper it gets. Perfect title, I love this it really flows. No wonder you have so many comments, I agree with the people!! Great. thanks, alan

    • Very cool of you, Alan. Glad you like the poem. Comments help me figure out how to improve lines. I’m fortunate to get this much feedback.
      Cheers πŸ™‚

  40. You too, Jingle! Enjoy the 4th!
    cheers πŸ˜‰

    Thanks for everything

  41. betweenhearts75 Says:

    Also meant to say have a happy 4th! Reading the poetry, I was clouded in “metaphors” and “exuberant wishing” something else to ponder upon. I almost forgot where I was. =)) …Happy writing cheers as well…and have a safe holiday!

  42. Thanks, April. Have a happy and safe 4th too! Enjoy.

  43. Thanks! My next post will be my 350th, which is almost as many pages as my novel. I’d like to celebrate it by posting the rally awards. Hope you have a great 4th, Jingle! πŸ˜‰
    cheers

  44. Really loved the flow of this poem; the rhyme helped to move the poem forward until the last lines which were pitched just perfect. Great poem.

  45. i absolutely love the rhythm in ur poem…great job
    http://hoiden.wordpress.com/2010/07/04/journal-entry-101/

  46. Absolutely loved it. Great images and great rhyme. Felt myself in it as I read…Thanks

  47. Thanks, glad you enjoyed it.
    cheers

  48. I appreciate how you work with rhythm and line length. Solid writing. Thanks – Bill

  49. Thanks, Bill. Appreciate your comment.
    cheers

  50. Hi Adam,

    that was a wonderful poem with great lines and imagery..

    Especially liked the line” Faith wore pride in cut off sleeves”

    Keep writing!

    Cheers

  51. Beautiful flow of thoughts.. carefully chosen rhythm.. Loved reading this one- πŸ™‚

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