Next Time Expected

Benny faces thug Finneran expecting another beating; good hand shaking as if about to lose the farm doubling down. Benny’s keys rattle changing owners—goodbye silver Jag.

“They’re you go, Buddy.” Finneran threatens mockingly, “More than a gambling problem next time. You’ll turn-up DOA. Capice?”

Benny’s recurverate hand held onto heartburn, “Won’t be a next time, Fin.”

_______________
Care for a Reading?

Share/Bookmark

48 Responses to “Next Time Expected”

  1. moondustwriter Says:

    Wow this is quite the story Adam.
    But my question will there be a next time????

    I love 55s – you rock at it

  2. Guess the answer to that might be in the cards. lol Hey Leslie. Thanks 🙂

    Also ,was just over at One Stop. Wow, some great guest posts!
    http://oneshotpoetry.blogspot.com/

  3. ooo chilling 55…hope there isnt…you can def lose more than your shirt…

  4. You said it…. Can’t afford those kinds of problems, literally. I’m not a fan of gambling, the exceptions being taking part in Superbowl pool or the brackets for March Madness. Aside from that, betting doesn’t interest me.

  5. OUCH!! That was wicked, Adam!!!
    Never tried a 55 before.. you inspire me! This was great!

  6. I like this.
    Perhaps i should get around to trying it a bit faster. lol

  7. Whoohoo..good one!!! You are so very talented and it shines through every single time!!

  8. I almost died in a few poker games myself.

    Well, not really, but I could have. 🙂

    Well told and chillingly so.

    xo

    • Ha ha! You should write a song about it…. Back in college, I avoided death through card games. lol

  9. lol 🙂 Love it. You have got to watch those Italians. lol 🙂

  10. Congratulations on the award..You Rock! x

  11. Reminded me of a scene from a movie…very enjoyable.

    • Glad you like it, Charles. Going to be trying out new material on the blog to see what works and what doesn’t. Thanks 🙂

  12. Chilling! Whoa . . . 🙂

  13. Thanks, Jamie. It’s an enjoyable challenge to try to fit a past, future, and ironic twists in 55 words. Truly a fun form 🙂

  14. nice 55.

    Happy Tuesday!

  15. Happy Tuesday, Jingle!
    TY

  16. […] Adam:  https://dustus.wordpress.com/2010/07/19/next-time-expected/ […]

  17. thats an awesome 55 …

  18. soulintention: signed .............bkm Says:

    Ooo-gambling can turn ugly…My limit is 15 cents…bkm

  19. Always enjoy your lyrical style, M. Glad to see you link up for One Stop Poetry!

  20. poker game is risky but people just love risky thing:3~ don’t they? =P Thank for sharing such a wonderful 55~ I love it ;D

  21. Very nice…never tried flash 55…reading urs makes me want to try it:) enjoyed it:)

    • Go for it! I think I may enjoy this form better than poetry. Tough call. Give it a try and let me know how it goes. Thanks 🙂

  22. irradiatedpoetry Says:

    I like this!

  23. Thanks irradiatedpoetry & ladynimue…. I’m going to keep trying to write a 55 once a week (usually at the end of the week after my Friday post on One Stop Poetry). Thanks for the feedback. Cheers!

  24. I don’t know if this was supposed to be funny, but I found it morbidly hilarious. Good work, I especially enjoyed how it feels like a real conversation.

  25. Thanks! I’ve watched way too many gangster movies 🙂

  26. Doni Cifra Says:

    but we know there will be a next time… unless the heartburn’s really a heart attack… poor Benny.

    • Exactly, Doni. While Benny’s hand is injured and curved back toward his chest, the line could also read as a very bad sign healthwise. Thanks, Man

  27. Reminds me of all those B & W films I watched as a young one — James Cagney movies… a good 55er — amazing really saying it so succinctly, with out compromise or losing the essence of the tone of the poem.

    Nicely done.

    Joanny
    from thursdays rally

    http://thedowsersdaughter.blogspot.com/2010/07/dance-of-fire-el-amor-brujo.html

  28. “You dirty Rat!”… “You won’t take me alive, Copper!” LOL
    I love those old movies. That’s cool the 55 reminds you of that. Thanks, Joanny.

  29. Very succinct yet clear. I can see both men and the fear in Benny.

  30. Thanks for the feedback, Morganna. Glad you could envision it 🙂
    cheers

  31. […] Adam:  https://dustus.wordpress.com/2010/07/19/next-time-expected/ […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: