A clear IV connects painkiller, grandma’s last rites, and Sunday morning. Fidgeting in pink admittance gown, you could tell she hates her wheelchair—getting used to it John supposed. She was always so free in love and expletives…
His first word was “shit” looking on from a high chair—Grandma mashed peas yelling.
“Maya, come here.” Her demand facing death; grandson’s sad life had been revealed to a stranger.
Approaching light brown-haired nurse smiles as if they shared history.
“This is my grandson; the detective I told you about.”
“Grandma,” he chuckles pointing at her suspiciously.
Maya sits in a metal cafeteria chair between estranged lives.
This entry was posted on September 20, 2010 at 6:51 am and is filed under Flash Fiction with tags Blog, dustus, elder care, flash fiction, hospital, nanofiction, short fiction, short story, story reading, writing. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.
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Dustus Blog 
September 20, 2010 at 6:59 am
Well, at least he’s there with her … I guess.
September 20, 2010 at 7:05 am
Definitively not someone you’d want around if you were sick—all he could think about was his own life
September 20, 2010 at 3:12 pm
Wow, powerful, Dustus. I enjoyed the audio version much. It this you speaking the audio?
This reminds me that many of us can’t get out of our own way, so many cobwebs around us — entangling.
Thanks for this.
xo
September 20, 2010 at 3:42 pm
Hi Lori. Yep, that’s me on the audio. Thanks 🙂 What you say illustrates the young man’s attitude in the story—he can’t step outside of his own thoughts and hurt to feel empathy.
September 20, 2010 at 4:23 pm
Very nice reading of the poem….you gave a clear snapshot of the events in concise wording…enjoyed your work.
September 20, 2010 at 6:23 pm
Always makes me proud when you like what I write. Trust and respect your feedback, C.
September 20, 2010 at 6:59 pm
The bloke in this reminds me a lot of myself at various stages in my life, so I can say with certainty that you’ve painted an accurate word portrait here, Adam. Having said that, in just one line, you’ve managed to get me to empathise with Maya more than the others. It’s hard to be the one caught in between!
By the way, what do you use to record your audio readings, if I may ask? And how do you get them to sit and play nice with your blog posts? 😛
September 20, 2010 at 7:16 pm
Thoughtful comment, Tony. Appreciate you sharing that about yourself. Can definitely relate to what you say.
For audio, I use Apple Garage Band with a USB mic and a cheap pop screen. It’s not audio engineer quality, but can be clear with a little editing w/in GB. WordPress makes it easy as uploading a picture, though it requires a space upgrade. It’s all a fun process and takes about 15-20 minutes once you have the workflow down.
Cheers 🙂
September 20, 2010 at 7:26 pm
So enjoy you reading your work…makes it so interesting!! Loved it Adam xx Hugs x
September 20, 2010 at 8:05 pm
You are kind and appreciated, Amanda. hugs
September 20, 2010 at 7:56 pm
What really smacked me in the face is how honest, not revealing, this moment is. Separate from the stage and the “big screen” this is us. Once again, mesmerised by your 55’s.,
September 20, 2010 at 8:14 pm
Hi Leslie. Glad you like it for those reasons. This one had to be a 105 b/c 55 wouldn’t do. lol Think this might be the perfect length in word count for “nanofiction” (if that be what one considers this piece. I’m not certain about the genre labels). Still very new to me, and I’m trying to find my voice creating in very short fiction forms. Your feedback always helps me. cheers
September 20, 2010 at 9:57 pm
Ooops! Sorry about that! I see 105up there, now! Not a writer, just one of your avid readers.I just try to share what a reader may see or feel from what you write.I hope that’s OK.
September 20, 2010 at 10:12 pm
Of course that’s okay 🙂 always grateful for your time and honest comments. No worries. I look forward to your responses. Cheers
September 20, 2010 at 11:29 pm
dustus, you sure crafted a great story in 105 words (though I almost wish you didn’t have to be restricted). The past sliding into the present. Well done!
September 21, 2010 at 7:12 am
Hi Talon. TY …It used to be people didn’t want to read War and Peace b/c it was too long. Now I think such sentiments may have transferred to the top post on a web page; perhaps that’s the reality of our time.
September 20, 2010 at 11:58 pm
Great reading for a great piece. Very telling of your characters in such few words.
September 21, 2010 at 7:13 am
Hey Chris. Appreciate your feedback. Hope to see you for One Shot!
September 21, 2010 at 3:12 am
Both characters and the situation come clearly across – and in such few words too! That’s some skill you have there!
September 21, 2010 at 7:15 am
Always take to hart your comments, Lynda. You’ve a great understanding of art and letters.
September 21, 2010 at 4:46 am
Another great one from you adam
September 21, 2010 at 7:16 am
Thank you, Kind Sir.
September 21, 2010 at 10:42 am
very interesting and unique as always.
September 21, 2010 at 2:38 pm
trisha, was glad to see you spotlighted yesterday. You deserve it 🙂
September 21, 2010 at 5:40 pm
SO sweet Adam, true..i never loved artificial anything by the way, i hardly even take pills eventho are made of natural herbs orginally, but roses should be bare, raw, scented and expressive ..just natural..love your poem..and its depth..;)
cheers from septemberic Cairo..:)
September 22, 2010 at 4:42 pm
Septemberic Cairo! So far away and yet connecting with all of us for One Shot! I am so glad to see you enjoying Wednesdays and having fun! You help make it great, Abeer
September 21, 2010 at 6:05 pm
How do they grow those….ok, I kid. Great piece, Dustus. Nice read.
September 22, 2010 at 4:42 pm
LOL 🙂
September 21, 2010 at 10:00 pm
The are glass scultures cattered around our local botanical garden, all done by Dale Chihuly. They are beautiful — but they are exactly what you describe here. Good one, Adam.
September 22, 2010 at 4:46 pm
http://www.holstengalleries.com/artists/chihuly.html
Your’e right, they are beautiful. Okay maybe he could make the glass flowers blush if we stretch it a bit. lol Thanks Glynn. Always a blast w/you and the gang on One Shot!
September 22, 2010 at 3:40 pm
Loved it!
nice shot!
September 22, 2010 at 4:49 pm
Enjoyed your poem about Autumn, Dulce 🙂
September 23, 2010 at 8:57 am
wow. i really enjoyed the reading of this adam…nicely done in 105…might have to give that a try…
September 26, 2010 at 1:26 pm
I enjoyed reading your creative work 🙂
September 27, 2010 at 7:56 pm
Thank you, Marinela. Likewise, I enjoy your creativity 🙂