Emotions Used

Maybe you saved me?
Feeling evictions from home
Fighting sleeplessness & circumstance
Yet opting for alone 

Baring souls encounter glare
Crumbling chips this cookie scared
In terms of worms, fed fabled tales
Love to hate my inbox mail

‘Cause wishing can’t believe you here
Watering eyes from burning sage
No missive, nor cruel fail whale sure
Wind wants to turn the page

 

Trap door centers
Exit rage
3 ring binder
Sap with age
Tinted blinders
Spilling guts
In my own way
Bark back
Rough

Nothing ever remaining easy
Living through your writing journeys
While sunset broods another story
Longing to find that one 

Scribbling dreams
Timed afternoons
What I think
Afraid I’ll choose…
Wrong again
Become old news
Trolling oceans
Emotions used

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81 Responses to “Emotions Used”

  1. betweenhearts75 Says:

    Very well written…amazing…had to read twice…I know of the “burning sage” ….quite closely….I think my favorite line is “the wind wants to turn the page”….very emotional….<see all those dots, pauses where my mind is still collecting it….INCREDIBLE work…. ~April🙂

    • Hi April. Didn’t know I was being photographed there and was fighting to keep pushing the right side of the page down fro a few hours. The wind kept playing tricks on me. lol I see those dots. lol Sincere thanks🙂

  2. Your reading of this poem is wonderful. Lovely use of rhyme and alliteration (as in “cruel fail whale sure” — not an easy line to speak aloud). The interplay of contrasting emotions comes across well. I especially like “Bark back / Rough”, “sunset broods another story”, “Trolling oceans”. Some lines speak to deep pain (“Feeling evictions from home”). One could probably spend a couple of pages analyzing this.

  3. Respect your poetry very much, Maureen. Your detailed commentary makes me feel I’ve done well. Thank you for the kind feedback🙂

  4. I’m visiting all the founders of one shot. So glad I’m doing this. Your poetry has such depth and sensitivity. Beautifully written.

    I’m rather new to poetry. Never paid it much attention before. But now I love it, and am grateful to people like you who share their talents so generously.

  5. An excellent reading of the poem….the flow augmented the written text of the poem…well done.

    • There’s this poet on the ‘Net named Charles Martin who does amazing readings. Are you familiar with his work? lol cheers

  6. Nice one, Adam. Loved that line — “Crumbling chips this cookie scared.”

  7. looks quite idyllic how you sit there – and yet – longing to find that one story doesn’t seem to be that easy
    i also like the line with the wind turning the page – and reading that the wind really tried to turn the page makes it even more special. so maybe you should think about a co-operation with the wind and let the tree do part of your writing…smiles…don’t take me serious..!

  8. LOL smiles for that one! Loved your One Stop post today, C

  9. Dustus, you have a supreme knack of putting amazing words together for maximum impact. Guts. Worms. Rage. You are a master for sure.

    xo

    Oh, and Namaste to you.

  10. Hi MAN!
    I am glad I can write to you and comments are not closed!😉

    This blog is just amazing ; your poerty > outstanding… i would have to quote every single line to say I loved this and that…

    Yours is the kind of poetry i need, I feel, I love & I feel I love…

    thanks for everything!
    😉

    Dulce

  11. The emotion oozes out of this. Wonderful.

  12. While sunset broods another story – love that line, and one becomes old news. We’ve all lived through that fear and reality at one time or another, haven’t we?!

  13. I really love this, the cadence is amazing, sing song, perfect.

  14. Love this..love how the wind is prompting you to “turn the page” like an impatient child..C’mon let’s go, let’s write!

    • @ kelly thank you

      @ Rene, that’s funny… I do feel very impatient sometimes when trying to write out all my ideas before they are forgotten.

  15. Writing about writing; fearing cliche’s looking for new way to say and all the time the doubt the wind the hair that blows in your face the distraction and the days sift like flour in the dough along with chips; food for thought. Thanks, Gay @beachanny

  16. adam, great one shot. an excellent write but your reading of it made it all the better…i easily would have been tongue tied…the verse on the trap door was actually my favorite…it just grabbed me and pulled me into what you were saying…happy one shot my friend…

    • Sometimes when writing, I feel like I fall through that trap door—not always a fun experience, though never a dull moment. Thanks, Brian

  17. Excellent write. You expressed the different emotions very well.

  18. I have to admit, I had a little trouble getting into it before I listened to the reading. This is a poem that cries out to be read aloud. Fine work.

  19. I read your poem several times through, sensing different messages and emotions each time. Yet there is a significantly more powerful rhythm to these words once spoken aloud… Painful and honest. Very real.

    The line ” …’cause wishing can’t believe you here” …if only. I understand.

    Wishing a steady, sweet warm wind to blow your way…..

    ~Shell

  20. Adam, this is a very long and very emotional piece for you. You bared your heart so glass-house-ly and beautifully. I listen to the reading many times… and still I haven’t captured all of this poem…I wonder how long it took you to write this one…. it is simply excellent… the flow as you read it, could not be any smoother. Just lovely. Heartspell

    • Thanks, Heartspell. It took me an hour to write this one; sitting in the very spot pictured. That was the last thing I wrote before it got dark.

  21. What a great poem. I just love all the alliteration! It truly gives the poem a great sound.

    Mine is here. http://razzamadazzle.wordpress.com/2010/10/12/one-shot-wednesday-week-15/

  22. i loved reading your poem there is so much emotion in it🙂

  23. Yet opting for alone…

    Okay, I don’t know how to do a “literary” critique but I will say that is such an honest and intense line. I seriously love your stuff.

  24. signed .............bkm Says:

    agree with so many that have already commented this is a very deep and emotional piece for you….and begs more readings….very well done dustus….thank you for sharing it …bkm

  25. I listened to your reading twice…and want to come back again to listen…a masterpiece…not an easy poem to read out loud!!! Wonderful as always Adam…:) big hugs for this one xx

  26. It seems that all I’ve ever done Adam is Troll the Oceans…

    Thanks Brother….G

  27. Adam, this is my first timedoing One Shot Wednesday, and I join those who are impressed with this poem. As I see it, each section COULD stand alone as a poem in its own right; but together they are a masterpiece!

  28. Gosh there’s a lot of sounds to get your tongue around here. I like the emotions/sentiments used. You read it well. I wish i knew how to post up readings :O)

  29. Carolina Linthead Says:

    I loved this one, Dustus! I like the way you shift gears, and I especially like the power of the emotions this one evoke. It is a poem with which I, like a number of other commenters, strongly connect, a place I’ve been: “opting for alone.” I second buttercup600: big hugs for this one!

  30. I read it like 5 times because it is just something so close as to what I used to go through.. Beautiful lines and bringing out the intense feelings..
    I am following your blog.. Thanks for dropping by too..🙂
    Hope to see you around in any of blogs and may one of my few blogs appeals to you..🙂🙂

  31. So many great lines here! There is a vulnerability that i don’t feel often from other poets. Baring souls encounter glare…so raw and sensitive. Seriously good!

  32. As usual another well crafted piece with fun wordplay covering extremely intense feelings. Nice write Adam. Love and Light, Sender

  33. betweenhearts75 Says:

    Adam, I actually had to come back and actually “listen” to you speak this aloud (many stating I should do the same with my latest post) ~ Generally I try to absorb the words/the feel as one gets while reading to themselves, and opt out of hearing it recorded. (however with all my comments I HAD to come back, of course read again and this time listen) ~ First off you read this aloud so very clear, and have a great voice for it…almost seemed that “haunting” notion in “nothing remaining easy…” which really shook within, so a listen was well worth coming back for. Amazing reading!

    ~ LOL I have a shy Massachusetts accent that when nervous stumbles sometimes over itself, so sounds funny to me.🙂 I could maybe try…or take up Brian on his offer to read it aloud😉

  34. Dustus this is my favorite poem of yours yet. I feel the emotion. 🙂

  35. Deep expression with a wonderful flow, emotional contrast and elation beautifully evoked. Great reading, too–really showcases the alliteration. Very personal work and very well done, Adam!

  36. That darned wind always wants to turn the page on us, doesn’t it? Nice One Shot, Adam!

  37. Wonderful rhyme and rhythm to this made even more so by the reading. When you try and write a story or poem it can prove so very elusive – you have to wait and let the story come to you don’t you and let it just write itself. Even then for me there is still so much doubt. A great capture of those feelings.

  38. sometimes we feel so worn out, out of focus and emotions.

  39. I love reading poetry, but I am not a poet. I did post a poem I wrote a few years ago, when snowed in and didn’t know what to do with myself, but after reading your poem, I think I need to take some poetry lessons. Or buy a book “Writing Poems for Dummies!” haha

  40. Adam, there is amazing depth to this poem. It touches the writer’s experience on a deep level. This post is a good example of how the spoken word can bring the message home.
    Thanks for checking out my one shot.

  41. wow! The reading of this poem just brings out the flow, the alliteration., adding even more depth than when I read it to myself!

    You are inspiringg to me as a poet!

    Dynamite One shot, Dustus!

  42. This was so intricately layered, dustus. I enjoyed peeling each layer back…and back…

    Beautiful writing.

  43. Wonderful poem. Beautiful writing…..

    Thought I would stop by and leave my poetic footprint.

    Thanks for stopping to see mine. I am a little shy and new to this…)

    Wysteria

  44. Hi Dustus, I also read it twice (aloud) to understand it better. Lots of imagery. Great stuff. Lately, I’m finding it really helpful to hear poetry as opposed to reading it. It seems to focus me.

  45. A wonderful poem of depth, memory, pain and emotion. The last five lines are especially powerful. Loved every line.

  46. wow, talk about reaching into my heart and squeezing it!! I love the flow and rhyme, with a stroryteller’s edge – Brilliant! As you would say “Tight”!
    donusho

  47. This was a very emotive poem for me to read Adam. It was wonderful to hear you read it too … the written words accompanied by your spoken words gave it everything it needed to convey the message residing in your words. Loved it! Thank you so much for taking the time to visit my blog & for leaving your kind comment.🙂

  48. Very well put, Adam. I like how your poetry uses just enough words to make this more than personal for the writer. You have captured much of the fine artist and musician experience, here, as well.

  49. I listened to this four times, and till want to go back yet again. I love the cadence. I love the rawness. (Bark back — rough. Great play on words.)

    “Watering eyes from burning sage.” There’s another fiery reference — ridding yourself of the ghost. Man o man, Adam, you’re one talented bloke. Thanks for anointing my life with fire and grace.
    ~xo

  50. Wonderful reading, Adam, filled with many of those emotions used. you voice just resonated with them. very nice.

    Thank you so much for your kind words on my blog. I really appreciate them.

  51. love the rhythm of this one almost a chant like flow that punched home each line

  52. This is great Adam.
    really reflective words.
    Got me thinking

  53. Thank you to everyone who left comment.
    A Great One Shot Poetry Wednesday. It was fun to host.
    Cheers & enjoy the rest of the week!

  54. Don’t think anything is easy.. ever!🙂

  55. I won’t & definitely don’t. That’s sound advice, Leo. thank you🙂

  56. Great and powerful one shot. I always enjoy reading your works! Till next week.🙂

  57. Thanks, Corbie. See you next One Shot!🙂

  58. Patty Sherry Says:

    Scribbling dreams
    Timed afternoons
    What I think
    Afraid I’ll choose…

    loved these lines, it made me think of how many dreams I’ve scribbled in notebooks, on napkins and pieces of paper. xo

  59. Hi Patti. Thanks for stopping by. Know what you mean. I’m always jotting down writing notes. Sometimes when I run I’ll bring post-its and a pencil with me and stop at the park. lol
    Have a nice weekend!

  60. emotional indeed, slightly intense to me…. It seems you wanted to say a lot more than said. very nice shot~~`

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