29 Responses to “Our Dreams Can Be (Villanelle 4 @Onestoppoetry)”
I’m out of coffee and my dreams were restless… Amidst my mumbling fingers stumbling out my own clumsy heart, I hear a ping that tells me that I have mail. I pause, I open, and it tells me that you’ve written. Relieved to have an excuse to exit my own mind, I click and read. It brings a wry smile to my face, because I see literary reflection here.
The b-line was the most difficult part for sure. Not many rhyme choices for that. I stopped trying to write these a long time ago b/c they feel too restrictive to me now. However, I felt inspired this morning after reading the One Stop post. Fun practice🙂
Oh come on! lol You WILL try again, Shan, b/c you are not the type to give up. Right? Right! Among other things, such forms make one appreciate writing projects that have no pressing time limit or rules. Cheers, my friend🙂
thanks adam – i was surprised myself – didn’t think that many people would give it a try – and lots of them for the first time – really cool.
i came back because i thought i’ll forward your villanelle to luke for next monday – he may use it for a detailed comment on the post. but of course we would show you before posting and get your ok. is that good? have forwarded Pete’s as well – thought it’s good to have the ones, written by the one stop team members for a closer look.
Regarding comment below…
I trust Sensei Pater and would appreciate the detailed commentary. It will only help for when I attempt the next one. Thanks to you both.
whoooaa! asdfghjkl. I absolutely adore this.. wow…
I don’t know how you do it Adam (AND a reading on top of all that!). I don’t know how long this took you make it seem pretty effortless. I know we are supposed to challenge ourselves (as people and writers) but man, this was a lot more difficult than I was expecting. Good times…I guess!
Very beautiful…love the willow tree actually just wrote a micropoetry to twitter regarding one.
Amazing flow, you did a wonderful job with this challenge Adam.
I would have been here to view sooner, however, emotional mode flight!😉
I’ll avoid the uh “nickname” haha!😀 …okay nowww I see a likeness lol… j/k maybe…😉 April
There are some lovely lines in this Adam. I wasn’t sure if you were aiming for perfect iambic pentameter, if so I think the meter is a tad off in a couple of places but nothing that a little tweak here and there wouldn’t sort out. Luke’s your man for that. Really like ‘assembling shared parts’ something very ‘healing’ about that phrase.
Glad you mention that. I’m never sure of stresses in lines due to the whole spoken/written dialect differences. So I am happy to say that Sensei Pater will be analyzing mine on Monday, along with a few others posts, so definitely check it out, Carys🙂