Seaward Sent ( #oneshotwednesday poetry )

Eroding shoreline—noxious cloud
Bloody chum fed to sharks
After being asked out of love
Lampoons knife hooked hearts

Assailing claims this sodden course
Frail lists from sunk outpost
Unlike this boat, some ships won’t float
Seaward sent; blowhard boasts

What I believe remains naive
Low tide for trips not smart
Waiving emotion, capsized grief
No lighthouse guide through dark

_______________
Care for a reading?


*Photography courtesy Creative Commons
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One Shot Poetry Wednesday

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55 Responses to “Seaward Sent ( #oneshotwednesday poetry )”

  1. Very moody and ominous. It gave me a shiver🙂 I love it.

  2. so much sadness, loneliness and heartbreak in this poem adam….excellently pictured dis-orientation and darkness… and the image is just a perfect match with the poem…hope this is fiction..

  3. What an image…both in words and with the photo prompt. Great read from you once more.

    Bless!

  4. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Adam Dustus and Adam Dustus, Diana Lee. Diana Lee said: RT @Dustus: Seaward Sent ( #oneshotwednesday poetry ) http://wp.me/pnd9L-28U […]

  5. I don’t know why, but I think I saw more irony in this poem than sadness. The photo is breathtakingly grey and glum. I imagine hearts fed to the sharks, “What I beleive remains naive” that’s where the irony lies….the satire came from the reading, the rising and falling of your voice over the lines like waves of the sea. Not sure if you were aiming for this but that’s what I heard! Again with the duality…upon reading it seems the narrator seems helpless without a light in the dark…but hearing it gave it the third dimension that it deserved. I doff my cap to you Sir🙂

  6. excellent…well written my friend…

  7. moondustwriter Says:

    ooo there’s some cold emotion at the bottom of this sea – wait for the real squall to hit!!

    Nice Adam

    appreciate you🙂

  8. Great metaphorical imagery, love the different levels you can read this on – strangely it made me think of the choppy emotions of love after a day of valentine’s talk yesterday! Strong, evocative writing…

  9. Love the eroding shoreline and bloody chum.

  10. Sounds a bit like the north sea. lol

  11. strong, beautiful, intense– spring will come to this heart, yours. xxxj

  12. Sounds like a fate being fulfilled…and the sea calling her sailors home…bkm

  13. Wow – this is the most powerful of your poems that I’ve read so far. You had me with the second line “bloody chum fed to sharks”, an incredible image and metaphor for emotional despair. And then you never let up, assaulting with images that are body blows until the final catastrophic denouement “no lighthouse”. Excellent work.

  14. Aah this appeals to me on so many levels Adam. I’m from a long line of seafarers – sailors, submariners, trawlermen and have always lived within sight of the sea. The shore is often my place of refuge in troubled times. This made me think of two specific things. The first was a burial at sea – solemn and reverent, the second – John Masefield’s wonderful poem ‘Sea Fever’ and to be honest anything that puts me in mind of Masefield’s poem already has a stranglehold on my heart. This is a very clever atmospheric piece, love your use of the word ‘Assailing’ – very smart indeed.

  15. The sea can be both glorious and devestating…love what you did with this one.🙂

  16. Indeed as pointing out above deep sadness and loneliness in these fine lines.

  17. A minimalist landscape(seascape) shorn of everything unnecessary. Every word leaves its little cut– tons of double meanings by association–lampoon/harpoon boats/boasts–none of which get in the way of the emotion or the clean, accelerating drive to the ending. Another fine poem, adam.

  18. poesravenlady Says:

    “What I believe remains naive…” I agree wholeheartedly. I still hope though🙂 Beautifully executed work!

  19. Adam
    i can picture myself in that shore, lighthouse off, in the darkness… yet the sound of the waves as they reach the shore and the smell it brings with its breeze will keep me awake and aware of the beauty within…

  20. Love the mood of this poem, how it captures the grey of the picture and its faint color at the center…like your poem. “Lampoons knife hooked hearts” is an especially evocative line!

  21. So sad and of course well done. 🙂

  22. Adam, the sea is beautiful, but at times she is no friend.
    Beautifully written.

  23. I kept reading this again and again and had different thoughts each time.

    “capsized grief” = my favorite part

  24. Listening to the reading really showcases the natural flow and rhyme. Nicely done.

  25. I really liked the flow of this. The last line leaves me hanging. I want more!

  26. adam, this is so good, so almost violent in its impact. there are half a dozen killer phrases in this. superb, my friend.

    ps–i lovvvvvve the “coal-train of thought” you put in your comment. love it!

  27. well that was rather despondent dustus…i think. smiles. some great imagery the opening stanzas hook with its vividness…

  28. It might be sad but it is beautifully written. So many good lines, I see in it.

    missing me

  29. randallweiss Says:

    “what I believe remains naive” is a great line. I think that changes the tone to something more lighthearted despite the dark imagery surrounding it.

  30. Definitely a poem with a dark cast to it. Very brooding. Mine is here. http://razzamadazzle.wordpress.com/2011/02/15/sunshine/

  31. Well-crafted. Fear bubbles inside of me. Thank you for sharing.

  32. Love how you brought out the sharp knives for to further your thematic exposition. Word choice worked really well within the poem to set up a mood of rising & falling (as previously mentioned by another comment.) Very heavy poem in terms of emotional development; reads like a stern self-rebuke turned into an examination of where the road went awry. Very impressed sir. Compliments to you for this fine example of poetic resonance.

    crb.

  33. ‘…capsized grief…’ caught in grey roiling emotions of the sea! I love how you kept it controlled because like the sea such feelings could swell into a flood. Thanks, Adam!

  34. This is such an excellent and visual metaphor.

  35. Breaks the heart.but yes some ships just wont float…

  36. A broken heart’s story? Someone who’s been there n has taken all the pain!
    Seems somewhat how it has been with me- really not taking off even after making huge splashing sounds!! How you connected this with sea, shores n ships is what is really amazing..🙂

    Hugs xx

  37. solid solid lean on the metaphor. i so often lose sight of the metphor in writing…hence mixed metephor. The idea of love being thrown to the sea. so apprapro. Thanks Dustus.

  38. This is the ugly sea, or the sea made ugly by our discontent. And of course the duple meaning of a life become a reflection of such a sea, brine’s intrusion into fresh water. Very nice.

  39. Adam,

    I read this and listened to it several times…feels like a slight shift from some of the poetry I am familiar with…not sure what has shifted, but it def canvases your growth and skill as a poet…and as an individual seeing and experiencing the world with eyes and heart wide open…do i ever make sense?🙂

  40. I found it a metaphor for the lone survivor–whether of a family, a relationship, or an actual excursion your precision with the words made the cuts deep and true. Excellent work. Thanks, Gay @beachanny

  41. I like how the sea can evoke both happy, romantic notions and their counterparts. Great word usage. Nice piece, Adam.

  42. You have captured the grey, dreary climate of the seaside perfectly in picture and word. For some this may seem dark, but for me you have captured the essence of a stolen moment, where my toes rush to meet the tide, and I am alone and content with myself. Your work has taken me there today…on a day it was very much needed. Thank you

  43. dark hours of the sea.. finely penned and defined.

  44. The feeling of feeling directionless comes through a bit for me. Wanting that light to show the way. Well written and deeply felt. ♥

  45. Excellent, focused imagery, taut write.

  46. Nope not wise to sail at low tide but something tells me the tides took by surprise ~ naive ~ elements of trust ~ but without the lighthouse how to know ~ guiding ~ with illuminating clue ~ hindsight ~ insight ~ lots here Adam ~ and on each read even more ~ loved ~ Lib ~ @libithina http://t.co/tXpkzwp

  47. The analogy is just too sharp and perfect, Adam…
    When hope has set afloat, away from our boat, life seems like black ocean enraged by a torrential downpour! And direction seems a distant dream…

    Very nicely expressed here through your amazing words, my friend… this one really pierced right thru’!!

  48. I really like that last line.

  49. I enjoy (maybe too often) imagery and writing related to the sea, including this poem.

    It was evident that you chose your words carefully, placed them with a poetic eye, such as, “Lampoons knife hooked hearts.” This was a treat to read & re-read.

  50. Metaphoric excellence…. the two-word phrases always so concise…you have such a gift for that, Adam. Sorry so long in getting here…. not getting to read as often.

  51. The last lines were so perfect.. and I kept thinking..
    ‘Waiving emotion, capsized grief
    No lighthouse guide through dark’
    why when one needs guidance, one does not have some one to lean on to… share the path…

    ॐ नमः शिवाय
    Om Namah Shivaya
    http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com/2011/02/whispers-night-along-sea.html
    Twitter @VerseEveryDay

  52. Really evocative. Hope you are well, Dustus.

  53. Dustus:

    Wonderful metaphors -evocative, profound and moody, just a great write.

    joanny

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