To Ruins ( #FlashFiction)


Mesmerized by doe-lit eyes glistening tears, he holds her squirming, French-manicured hand. Heineken bottles sweat rings upon pick-up. Free fingers weaved together uncomfortably. Choking annihilating sadness, he tells her he would rather be the one when she says,
 

“Inoperable… can’t fix me through plastic surgery.”

Eying dance floor ash, he recalls their vacation to ruins.

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Care for a reading?
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If you or anyone you know has written a Friday Flash 55, then please come tell G-Man.

30 Responses to “To Ruins ( #FlashFiction)”

  1. moondustwriter Says:

    Adam – good to see you 55ing

    very nice – hmm the coliseum has seen better days to be sure

    Happy Friday my friend

  2. Sometimes perfection is in the mistakes.

  3. mmm…the imperfections are what make us beautiful…though it sounds as if the ruins have come to stay in this guys life…

  4. Great 55! I’m not sure cosmetic surgery has ever been known to cure anything. Mine is here. http://razzamadazzle.wordpress.com/2011/03/03/a-watched-feeling/

  5. Mesmerizing indeed!
    Your reading lends so much to this Micro-Perfection
    Thanks for joining in the Friday Funfest.
    Thanks for your support as well…You Da Man!
    Have a Kick Ass Week-End

  6. Kind of makes you wish the machine were better oiled.

  7. You hooked us!

    Aloha from Waikiki

    Comfort Spiral

    >

    >

  8. hen Life gives you lemons, get a new Life…this hurt a little, I fought for happiness once

    Peace, hp

    thanks for stopping by Adam

  9. “…he recalls their vacation to ruins…”

    Ak, play with words, why don’t you! Inoperable…can’t fix me through plastic surgery.

    You cantilever through image like an athlete warming up.

  10. Aw! This one stings, kinda like the slap in the face I’m sure this poor guy felt. Really well done 55! Context, characters, conflict–everything was in sync. And it evokes real empathy, or at least for me and my poor lil heart.

  11. This was really good, and imagine how cool it would have been to see something in that arena in its prime, as I figure this guy would like to go back to as well.

  12. Well! The collieum can tell all types of stories- even long before the ruins…
    Great one!

  13. Inoperable always leaves a sadness when I hear or read the word.

    Well, at least there was Heineken!🙂

    Another beautiful poem, Adam Dustus — you One Stop Poetry Shorty Finalist, you!!

    xp

    • Hey Jannie. thanks. The OSP FAMILY is the finalist. We couldn’t have done that without our collective following pulling together all friends and peers in the blogosphere. Thank you for your support. You are truly a class act🙂

  14. Amazing. Especially poignant for me, having been to the Coliseum three times in the last five years…I cannot go to Rome without seeing it. Celebrated my 64th and 64th birthdays there and the hotel I stay at is within walking distance. I’m beginning to feel as much a ruin as that place! It was wonderful hearing you read it!

  15. Worst vacation ever. Heavy 55, Adam!

  16. sad case, very eloquently put…

    powerful 55.
    Happy Weekend.

  17. Good stuff. Like the poem set against the image of ruin.

  18. Wheew..What a sad vacation that must’ve been… seeing “her” that way.. in pieces.. (sigh)
    I like the use of “plastic surgery” here… makes for an excellent metaphor!!

    A tight 55er, Adam…

  19. there’s an ache that lingers as long as the ruins.

  20. The picture threw me off … and then I got it…I’m so slow geez. Nice one, It’s really for the best that he tells her and then stays put.

  21. Worth a great deal of study for it’s technical aspects and embedded metaphors. How truly you describe yourself as a poet!

  22. Sad that anyone has to feel they need fixing. Wouldn’t it be a whole lot better if we were a tiny bit more accepting of our own flaws?
    Great 55!
    Incidentally, I got married in Rome so anything that reminds me of it makes me happy…

  23. When in Rome…. get married! Now that’s quite the locale for a ceremony. Awesome.

    Yes, it would certainly be a whole lot better if we were more accepting of our flaws. On a personal level, perfectionism seldom leads to happiness.
    Cheers, Belinda🙂

  24. Must agree sometimes perfection is in the mistakes…loved the images it brought to mind as I read and listened to your reading.

  25. I have always liked your flash 55, Adam. This does not disappoint. I have very little patience for people who are only skin deep, so it is great! that you only gave him a 55 word effort. 🙂

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