Bovine-eyed and cringing by decibels, her daughter glances across the café at the exit sign. Mom’s diatribe goes south.
“Gawwd… Don’t you remember Florida? That waitress sits down at our table fer chrissakes! ‘How yeww folks doing? Y’all having a nice day?’ she asks. ‘May I take yerr order?’
“Yeah, lady… leave us alone!”
______________________________________________ Care for a Flash Fiction Reading?
_____________________________________________________ If you or anyone you know has written a Friday Flash 55 Fiction piece, then please come tell G-Man.
Puh-Leeze!
She shouldn’t have sat down then!
But I must say this Dustus…
You sound EXACTLY like “Kiss My Grits” Flo!!!
Excellent 55 My Friend.
Thanks for playing, and have a Kick Ass Week-End
You yankees are soooo stuck up! There’s no such thang as “in your personal space” down here, suh. Not that I’m that far down–thankfully. Mostly just college kids who are all about telling you their relationship issues between forgetting your drink. A warm southern fried 55, adam.
It’s a shame mama didn’t appreciate the nuances of true southern charm. No wonder her daughter was eying the exit! :o) Great, original 55!
Okay…here’s a lesson from a southerner by choice, not by birth. Do not come here and say “The way we do it up north is….” You will not be on good graces. If a southerner asks you what church you belong to…be nice. They truly are curious and concerned about the state of your soul. After all, it is the Bible belt. Finally, if a true southern belle says to you “Why bless yo’ heart” that this neither a blessing nor a compliment but rather a syrupy word sword being directed smack dab in the middle of your back!
LOL Thanks for clearing all that up, Polly 🙂 I lived in Knoxville for seven years (enjoyed it). I like NY too. People maintain biases wherever one goes.
Oh, my, here I am, a transplanted Southern belle from Georgia who loves catfish and hushpuppies and GRITS ( not with sugar and milk ). You are funny, though…and I hardly have an accent after 33 years in the San Francisco area.
Bovine-eyed and cringing by decibels, her daughter glances across the café at the exit sign. Mom’s diatribe goes south.
If you or anyone you know has written a Friday Flash 55 Fiction piece, then please come tell G-Man. 
Dustus Blog 
March 17, 2011 at 6:59 pm
Oh…that was so witty…it made me laugh out loud as I read the last line. Cheers!
March 17, 2011 at 7:21 pm
What an awesome 55! Good for a chuckle. Mine is here. http://razzamadazzle.wordpress.com/2011/03/17/wearing-o-the-green/
March 17, 2011 at 7:22 pm
Been there and heard that too loudly on occasion too. 🙂
Reminds me of the band who asked “Do you have any requests?” And we’re told “Yeah, you mind stopping?” Which you may or may not have heard before. 🙂
xo
March 17, 2011 at 7:56 pm
Puh-Leeze!
She shouldn’t have sat down then!
But I must say this Dustus…
You sound EXACTLY like “Kiss My Grits” Flo!!!
Excellent 55 My Friend.
Thanks for playing, and have a Kick Ass Week-End
March 17, 2011 at 8:03 pm
LOL on the Flo. *scratches head* ….Loving the Friday Fiesta. Thanks, Brother
March 17, 2011 at 8:32 pm
I get a kick out of that type of waitress. Breaks the ice. Great 55.
March 17, 2011 at 8:53 pm
ha. i like mine social like that…just wait until next week…i am from the mountains you know…lol
March 17, 2011 at 9:33 pm
Southern hospitality at it’s best.
Great 55 from picture to the bovine eyed doll face
Moonie
March 17, 2011 at 10:26 pm
You yankees are soooo stuck up! There’s no such thang as “in your personal space” down here, suh. Not that I’m that far down–thankfully. Mostly just college kids who are all about telling you their relationship issues between forgetting your drink. A warm southern fried 55, adam.
March 17, 2011 at 11:32 pm
Diatribe goes south. Love the literal/figurative thing you did here.
March 18, 2011 at 5:37 am
lolz !!!
Poor waitress !
March 18, 2011 at 5:37 am
Fun to read accents crammed into so few words! LOL
March 18, 2011 at 6:00 am
Ha now that was the most unusual 55 ever. Loved it.
March 18, 2011 at 6:20 am
Hawdee Partner. Nice one!
March 18, 2011 at 9:41 am
I lived in SC for 5 years, so I definitely relate to this one! I’d still take the Southerners “fixin’ tos” over the New Yorkers rudeness however!
March 18, 2011 at 9:50 am
It’s a shame mama didn’t appreciate the nuances of true southern charm. No wonder her daughter was eying the exit! :o) Great, original 55!
Okay…here’s a lesson from a southerner by choice, not by birth. Do not come here and say “The way we do it up north is….” You will not be on good graces. If a southerner asks you what church you belong to…be nice. They truly are curious and concerned about the state of your soul. After all, it is the Bible belt. Finally, if a true southern belle says to you “Why bless yo’ heart” that this neither a blessing nor a compliment but rather a syrupy word sword being directed smack dab in the middle of your back!
March 18, 2011 at 10:46 am
LOL Thanks for clearing all that up, Polly 🙂 I lived in Knoxville for seven years (enjoyed it). I like NY too. People maintain biases wherever one goes.
March 18, 2011 at 10:43 am
You had me at ‘bovine-eyed’. Perfectly rendered accent- I could pretty much hear this one play out.
March 18, 2011 at 11:34 am
Kiss mah grits! LOL!
Nicely told, Adam!
March 18, 2011 at 1:33 pm
Saw this mother/daughter duo at IHOP last week ; )
March 18, 2011 at 1:39 pm
fine humor, well played 55.
March 18, 2011 at 6:29 pm
Wonderfully done. A nice story to enjoy while I sip MY whiskey…
March 18, 2011 at 7:50 pm
What Hedgewitch said!
Great 55!
March 18, 2011 at 8:38 pm
thanks for the smile this one brought
March 18, 2011 at 10:17 pm
hahahah… been there myself!! Only, not as mother/daughter..but as wife/hubby 🙂
“bovine-eyed” was tooo much too good!! 😀
March 18, 2011 at 11:07 pm
thanks for the giggle, Adam. love it! ♥
March 19, 2011 at 9:43 am
Great description of regional biases, Adam! Love the opening, and especially the voices, which truly bring the piece alive.
March 19, 2011 at 10:47 am
I don’t hear the American accents well enough to get the best of this one. But very effective scene-setting
March 20, 2011 at 11:37 am
Lol, awesome
March 25, 2011 at 12:37 am
Oh, my, here I am, a transplanted Southern belle from Georgia who loves catfish and hushpuppies and GRITS ( not with sugar and milk ). You are funny, though…and I hardly have an accent after 33 years in the San Francisco area.
March 31, 2011 at 4:05 pm
Wow, what a great ending. Witty.