A Life That Works

I’d like to share a happy song
Figure out what does go wrong
Itching scalp from burning sun
Seldom let myself have fun…

Want it real?
Sushi raw?
Lacerations from a jaded saw?
I’d like to tell you how I feel
Man up from clown
Stand ground, appeal

Layers of an onion shed
Nightmare turns away pretend
The ceiling shows time’s twisted flow
Adjusting eyes tune street lamp glow

These walls are bare
As will, heartbeats
Jugular, nose
Breathe, repose
This is what a writer chose
As muffled echos ocean close
Interstate drone
Time alone
Everything I wrote and own
Spells drip catching studio skylight—
Wings melt into a candle vigil and
A life that works
Perceived self-worth
To walk this earth
Past pain, main, rebirth
Limbs coated with sweat
My pride, hair, and dirt

__________________________________________________________
Care for a reading of A Life That Works?

One Shot Wednesday (Week 49)
@ One Stop Poetry
Host: this week the honor goes to
poet & friend, Mr. Brian Miller

59 Responses to “A Life That Works”

  1. listened to this whilst packing away my own baggage. A writers worth, now that’s something you could muse upon until the cows came home Adam. Felt this one tonight my friend, another raw nerve exposed by your excellent words

  2. Adam…this is amazing! (broken record, I know!) Love how easily and almost angrily this was read. My version is frantic and fierce, with absolutely perfect time and rhythm. I can’t say I took it as a happy song…but I am so very glad I stopped by to have a listen. Now that’s I’ve put my two cents in, I’m going to have a listen🙂

  3. enjoyed the read and the flow in this adam…bare walls indeed…and i love raw sushi as i love raw life and raw words…and this they were..

  4. you certainly manned up with this …thanks for sharing

  5. soon enough your walls wont be bare man…just think it gives you plenty of material for these happy songs….do me a favor though if this is happy please dont write anything angry or depressing…smiles.

  6. It is really good to see you posting again. I think I mentioned that last week, yet this weeks post really makes me feel it again. I always love listening to the spoken version, this piece is raw and determined in voice, I enjoy your poetry Adam. ~ Rose

  7. petertwo.oh Says:

    I agree with Claudia here, this poem flows really well and I love the phrasing with plenty of short punchy words…nice one Adam! // Peter. @expatinCAT

  8. I love this. I was smiling as soon as that flow of words kicked in, not because it was happy-go-lucky, but because it just rolled in passion and purpose.

  9. “Time alone
    Everything I wrote and own
    Spells drip catching studio skylight—
    Wings melt into a candle vigil and
    A life that works” …when I was young, before I married i had thought this was the life I would have chosen…but I didn’t…then I became ill and even though early morning and late afternoon and evening are shared with my family…mostly I too spend my days meditating, photographing, writing and resting alone.

  10. Another inspiring write Adam. I love the rhythm of this and the complex rhymes.

  11. i am glad your life is working…

    sincerely,

  12. brilliant work Adam! truly a flawless poem to me. loved the flow of each line… smooth

  13. Well, Adam…you’ve done it again…forced me to read, and reread every line ( a pleasure by the way) to to sort out all the images you packed into this excellent verse. “A life that works”…that’s a pretty good outcome…no? vb

  14. In the dirt and grime
    Doesn’t sound like a good time
    But you surely told how you feel
    Keeping it quite real
    Such a great read
    Just hope that solitude doesn’t cause you to bleed

  15. *Layers of an onion shed*
    good choice of an image to tell

    I love that out of all I love in anything you write Dustus

    I am Ok Thank You!😉

  16. “…Lacerations from a jaded saw..” I can feel em. Age sits on your head and you start to wonder what is really going on here, where is it really going–all the questions you do man up to here, that take the hard sweat and grit to answer, to find what makes it work. Fine and fluid and real, my friend.

    • Just wanted to say thanks, hedge. You always take the time for detailed comments that mean a lot to me. You rock!

  17. You with hair that crow! Sounds like a nice life.

  18. ladynyo Says:

    The ‘reality’ of life in this poem just papulates….this rhyming scheme is very good.

    Excellent, inventive and down to earth.

    Lady Nyo

  19. This is what a writer chose
    As muffled echos ocean close
    I don’t know why but I liked that. Nice to get here in somewhat on time.I also enjoyed this powerful poem.

  20. hmmm – if my husband wrote, these would be his words, too…. the mid-life “thing” for him. I, too, think I am still twenty…. until I pass the mirror.

    • Sheila, I read your comment last night. Have thought about it this afternoon too. I am definitely way past my twenties and beginning to realize just how old I am. Such is life. My best to your husband as well. Science needs to discover the Fountain of Youth—STAT! lol🙂

  21. This is like the Alpha and Omega.

  22. Love the flow of this Adam…one feels the pulse of a life in the reading .

  23. Great write, I was drawn in from the beginning & didn’ t want it to end with all the clever lines!

  24. libraryscene Says:

    Second stanza is killer, must say, …no messing with that third line, fabulous. Sense of power within in this one; fine message, indeed ~

  25. The shedding of layers – skin and sweat…life and dirt….great sound and rhythm Adam…thank you..bkm

  26. There is a fantastic rhythm to this and the sound works well. Opening up is hair-raising, but this is full of energy. I know what you mean about the ceilings.

  27. What a great flowing poem. Sometimes poets can write elongated, over-descriptive lines but I prefer the shorter, to the point poems – like this!

  28. Emotional tones and I can hear you reading this on open mic night!

  29. Love the rhythm – I read it out aloud – so grounded – perfect🙂

  30. Loved the rhythm and kind of uplifted by it..

    eye for an eye

  31. Really enjoyed this piece. Nice flow. Absolutely love repetition and the subtler the better. I love the way it can be read. you go from burning to laceration to nightmare. Images of, what is seen in the finale Pain, Pain, pain

    I look at this train of thought & see mult angles of view is that a general devolution is taking place in terms of types of pain, but the poem ends with a topic, a broad category, just pain. All encompassing damaging pain, or is the vague sentiment of the overused word pain indicating a healing. Quite possible seeing it is sweat and not blood covering the skin. One final detail, sweat is the bodies natural defense for purging.

    Thanks, really enjoyed the piece:)

    • This is an insightful read into my work, which also helps me better understand my creative process. Sincere thanks, Fred

  32. Really enjoyed the flow, rhythm and your mastery of complex rhyme in this piece, some great lines & images here, and I loved the ending starting from ‘wings melt into a candle vigil and a life that works ..that touched something…

  33. “this is what a writer chose”

    ah, yes… this.

  34. This is amazing. I read it in a sort of sing/song drone…and I get what you are saying here.

  35. Words within rhymes within repetitions within echoes… So amazing to hear it read aloud – performance poetry at its best.

  36. Adam, I so envy your ability to create a pleasing flow with rhyme and meter. It just seems effortless. And meaningful.

  37. Old Ollie Says:

    This is a rich vivid poem – dig your style.

    Thanks for the comments – much appreciated.

  38. I love the feel of this, the regret that is not regret but growth, the rhythm of a life lived.

  39. Had the feel of the road – fairly beat – those motels Nabokov described – so bare walled and achingly lonely, and yet from the blankness blooms imagination in your work as well. Excellent my dear. Gay

  40. I bet a real writer wrote this:) Excellent. Ur voice is very original, and you threw it down raw-real as advertised. Superb once again.

    http://henryclemmonspoet.blogspot.com/2011/06/foxglove-white-one-shot-wednesday.html

  41. Anita Wakeham Says:

    Wonderful poem Adam, profound and reaching.

    Anita.

    P.s. I can open the page now.😉

  42. Thanks Dustus, I’m loving the honesty in this write! This piece packs a punch and tells it like it is. AWESOME!
    I’m also loving your support for everyone else and their work. This is a huge piece of an accomplished writer also. Thank you.

  43. Another great poem! Hard work pays off regardless of our struggles to get to where we want to go. And when bad stuff happens, we roll up our sleeves and work even harder. Well done!

  44. I loved your reading of the poem. Could feel the intensity behind the questioning. Does one’s life “work?” At certain points, I think we all ask ourselves that question. Some of us face it and some hide from it. Honest and raw poem.

  45. These walls are bare
    As will, heartbeats
    Jugular, nose
    Breathe, repose
    This is what a writer chose
    As muffled echos ocean close

    …love the cadence and flow of this write…fluid piece of work.

  46. I have been on my own since very young- quite unusual for my country and traditions here. I feel Solitude is my best fried. It has let me realize things those are often missed by others through their entire lifetime!

    There are things that don’t match up with others often.. for how I am being fiercely independent.. but I love my life the way it is..🙂

    Hugs xoxox

  47. Adam, love the rhythm of this and your words are so real and raw, like a vein freshly cut and left to ooze blood. From the title alone, it feels like the speaker is determined to come out of depression — by wanting to share a happy song, by convincing himself that his can be a life that works. And yet it ends with pain, something we all want to get past but likely remnants of which we take to the grave.

  48. Will I get out of this comment with my jugular intact, the ceiling as sane it was before, and my hair all fresh and clean from the rebirth of your razors of words??

    Probably! Hopefully!
    🙂

    xoxo

  49. I really love this. I listened to the audio on loudspeaker and it was so much fun. 🙂

  50. A wonderful sense of forward motion, optimistic in it’s honesty.

  51. I really like this Adam. Some good lines in there;-

    Lacerations from a jaded saw?

    But my favorite bit is this;-

    “These walls are bare
    As will, heartbeats
    Jugular, nose
    Breathe, repose
    This is what a writer chose
    As muffled echos ocean close
    Interstate drone
    Time alone
    Everything I wrote and own…”

    I love the audio of this! I always think it’s a great touch to actually hear the poets voice reading the poem as he intended it to be read🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: