Radioactive Water to a Whale

A Con Artist had sold
Radioactive water to a Whale 
Who then crapped Titanic Turdbergs
So no ships could ever sail

The people were livid
The coastguard got pissed
Nobody could swim
Those turds killed all the fish!

A myriad of sea-life
Suffered mass genocide:
Lobster, otter, shark, crab
All plants & octopi

Manatees…. gone
No turtles survived
Seals chose to cliff-dive
To hasten their demise

This carnage spread far worse than
Any epic algae bloom
Birds perished in mid-air
From mad wafting toxic fume

Tourism soon died
Commercial ports had shut down
& the Con Artist counted (while laughing aloud):
Every last clam that Whale had shelled out–
He hoped to find pearls
Prying open their mouths

As for that sick Whale
While he took his last breath
He knew he’d been poisoned
By the real Moby-Dick

 

Bar Stool Pigeons

Bar Stool Pigeons do not fly
They only get the runs
They’ll pace and squawk
Peck morning meal
Take cover from the sun

Bar Stool Pigeons flock together
Fight over biscuit crumbs
You seldom see one out alone
If so, that one is done

Their heads swivel ’round; bob up & down
Some turn on their sisters & brothers
Because once Bar Stool Pigeons lose their will
They spend life cursing the flight of others

They’ll look toward the sky (with envious eyes)
Then dismiss what they see as insane
Humans can’t understand what they say
And attribute this fact to bird brains