Former Drill Sargent Haines boots him out for dropping F-bombs…. Freshman returns following morning. Haines halts him at the threshold.
“Change your attitude?”
“Fuck off!” Kid pulls a blade.
Haines decks him and the knife disappears.
Haines’s cuffed; marched outside….
Cop asks, “Where’s your car?”
“Over there.”
“Get in and don’t come back to Batterson.”
______________________________________________ Care to hear me read these 55 words?
_____________________________________________________ If you or anyone you know has written a Friday Flash 55 Fiction piece (in 55 words), then please come tell G-Man.
Hi Adam, love this snippet, and would love to hear more. Where did he go? What did he do? Nice to have a chance to read your work. Been busy with the crazy 30 in 30 and my work schedule.
If you or anyone you know has written a Friday Flash 55 Fiction piece (in 55 words), then please come tell G-Man.
Dustus Blog 
April 28, 2011 at 7:17 pm
Great scene you’ve created there.
April 28, 2011 at 7:24 pm
a little assault at batterson….hehe…nice scene adam, nice g man reference///
April 28, 2011 at 7:40 pm
Those drill Sgts know their stuff – I’ve worked with a few
Nice 55
April 28, 2011 at 8:03 pm
quite the visual! good stuff!
April 28, 2011 at 8:13 pm
Yeah, that sounds about right.
April 28, 2011 at 8:29 pm
Now thats the way they USED to do it!!
Drill Sgt. Haines? Hmmmmm
Excellent 55 Dustus.
Thanks for playing, and have a Kick Ass Week-End
April 28, 2011 at 9:45 pm
Times have certainly changed. Thanks, G. Appreciate you hosting the 55 meme. Always fun.
April 28, 2011 at 8:43 pm
I would never mess with Drill Sgt. Haines, Batterson or bloggerton. Tongue in cheek day, today.
April 28, 2011 at 11:15 pm
tough luck
April 28, 2011 at 11:21 pm
Where did the knife disappear to? You’d think they wouldn’t mind busting a kid. Guess it’s one of those scapegoat schools…
Minor typo in Para5 – “Haines” becomes “Haine” in the possessive
April 28, 2011 at 11:29 pm
Appreciate your visit. I’m going to tweak that. Thank you.
April 28, 2011 at 11:56 pm
Excellent scene…good dialogue…always amazed what can happen in 55 ~
April 29, 2011 at 2:36 am
oooh! That was a killing 55… errr chilling one I mean!
Fantastic visuals..
Friday hugs xox
April 29, 2011 at 5:00 am
Hey that was really great. And in so few a lines too.
April 29, 2011 at 8:13 am
Very nice.
April 29, 2011 at 9:58 am
Haines……such a Barney Bad Ass
Freshman is a bad boy
I don’t know which character I am attracted to more!
that is all
April 29, 2011 at 10:38 am
Well crafted dialogue to convey the whole story…very well done in my opinion.
April 29, 2011 at 3:37 pm
That’s Batterson giving him the boot!
I’m in awe of a soldier’s disciplined mind. Freshman never woulda made it.
April 29, 2011 at 4:02 pm
Intense scene….
April 29, 2011 at 4:12 pm
I think I like Freshman! Neat 55!
April 29, 2011 at 4:16 pm
Sometimes a punch is all someone needs! 😀
April 29, 2011 at 5:05 pm
Hi Adam, love this snippet, and would love to hear more. Where did he go? What did he do? Nice to have a chance to read your work. Been busy with the crazy 30 in 30 and my work schedule.
Pamela
April 29, 2011 at 5:59 pm
Effective scene that hints at considerably more. =)
April 29, 2011 at 10:18 pm
What a realistic 55–sad but true to life. Mine is here. http://razzamadazzle.wordpress.com/2011/04/28/horse/
April 29, 2011 at 11:04 pm
YOu say so much in your 55. NIce job Dustus 🙂
May 1, 2011 at 5:43 pm
Great scene….can see it.