Old panel peeling, crumbling grout
Echoes through my abandoned house
See through it clear, this starter dream
Floorboards curl, their splinters sting
This entry was posted on September 14, 2010 at 12:18 pm and is filed under One Stop Poetry with tags 2pitch.com, author, Blog, book cover, dustus, Keven Lupien, literary novel, One Shot Wednesday, poem, poems for, Poetry, poetry online, This Old House, writing. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.
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One Shot Wednesday
Dustus Blog 
September 14, 2010 at 12:56 pm
I like the tactile quality of this Adam – the echoes and the splinters stinging like you walked back in your dreams:)
September 14, 2010 at 3:34 pm
Hi Lynda. I’ve had the book on my mind lately. Glad the feeling for it comes through in the poem. cheers 🙂
September 14, 2010 at 4:04 pm
I must agree with Lynda that the poem has a real tactile quality to it…a vivid image of the house…enjoyed it.
September 14, 2010 at 11:23 pm
Hey Charles 🙂 always glad when you like my work
September 14, 2010 at 4:05 pm
A great look back.
September 14, 2010 at 11:23 pm
Your micfiction is awesome, Anthony
September 14, 2010 at 4:33 pm
Adam, I read it, and then I listened to it while I read it again. The words are the same, but the sounds and the emphasis add a kind of clarity. Nice one.
September 14, 2010 at 11:25 pm
I’ve changed the way i approach poems when I know I’m going to read them. Takes some tweaking from page to mic. It’s an enjoyable change for me. never used to read my work, Glynn. Starting to enjoy dong so.
September 14, 2010 at 4:44 pm
a starter dream…I think every house I have had is a starter dream…where I never wake up….great write…bkm
September 14, 2010 at 11:27 pm
…bkm I like your poems each time I read one. Great job
September 14, 2010 at 5:23 pm
Wow..i love the sound of echoes in your lines Adam, hearing them in your voice rendered this piece quite fascinating..Great one shot buddy! 😉
September 14, 2010 at 11:29 pm
means a lot to mean, Abeer, as does your respect 🙂
September 14, 2010 at 5:24 pm
Such a beautiful dream! An incredible challenge and an incredible poem.
September 14, 2010 at 11:29 pm
Neva, enjoyed your poetic story this evening!
September 14, 2010 at 6:02 pm
Such a simple yet effective poem.
You definitely captued the feel of an old creaky house
September 14, 2010 at 11:33 pm
Hey K! appreciate that; makes me think I wrote well a good one
September 14, 2010 at 6:36 pm
Thank you for stopping by and commenting. I greatly enjoyed your poem. A first for me to hear a poet speak. Love the voice, clear and concise; giving more insight and meaning to the piece. I could actually visualize and feel the imagery. Wonderful metaphors.
September 14, 2010 at 11:34 pm
Like your site, CE.. Write On!
September 14, 2010 at 6:42 pm
you evoke great imagery quickly dustus…it feel familiar and i am there…nice one shot….enjoyed the listen as well. thanks for being a wonderful host this week~!
September 14, 2010 at 11:37 pm
I enjoy the hosting gig, bri. Fun to see the community forming around the collective works.
September 14, 2010 at 7:15 pm
Nice. I feel the vision in the sound and sense 🙂
September 14, 2010 at 11:37 pm
Appreciate your feedback, L.L. 🙂
September 14, 2010 at 7:31 pm
great imagery in a few lines…love the echos and even the splinters! Feel like I’ve walked through that house!
September 14, 2010 at 11:40 pm
Hey SuziCate! Awesome to see you post up today
September 14, 2010 at 7:41 pm
I am actually pictured myself walking into this old house:D, wonderful vision!=D~ the sounds everything was so clear to me=P Wonderfully written!:3
September 14, 2010 at 11:42 pm
Glad it was easy to picture a scene to the words, Rilka. thanks for sharing that with me 🙂
September 14, 2010 at 7:50 pm
Adam…
I read it, then listened.
This is Great stuff.
I love em Short and sweet!
September 14, 2010 at 11:43 pm
G, your poems showed both skill and humor tonight.
September 14, 2010 at 7:50 pm
Great imagery Adam…your artistry is unending!!! Hugs xx
September 14, 2010 at 11:44 pm
Amanda, your comments always make me feel like I’m on the right track with my writing. I thank you for that. HUGS xx
September 14, 2010 at 8:32 pm
Fantastic as always Adam, I so love the very descriptive words. Your words already give such a beautiful sense of restructuring to this house. Simply beautiful! ~April 🙂
September 14, 2010 at 11:45 pm
April, you’ve always written well, but I find your work getting even better each time I visit. cheers
September 15, 2010 at 7:37 am
You are far too sweet to me Adam, thank you. Trying to invite a fresh change to the writing and getting inspired to do so. Working on a story as well and posted the first Chapter last night on my blog also! FUN!!! 🙂 ~ One of the things I do love about your writing is also held in the reading. I have a funny Massachusetts accent, and not so well for reading aloud, lol. 🙂 Its always a wonderful experience to come here, read/and “feel” the sense of your work. ~April
September 14, 2010 at 8:41 pm
times i feel like this house…
like the wistful feel of longing for the past and mourning yet accepting the ravages of time
September 14, 2010 at 11:47 pm
You just expressed the sentiment so well. cheers, wid0w
September 14, 2010 at 8:43 pm
Hearing the groan of the floor bearing weight of years…
September 14, 2010 at 11:48 pm
Your response is a poem in itself, Kathleen
September 14, 2010 at 9:20 pm
dustus, this was lovely. I live in an old house and you captured an old house’s essence beautifully.
September 14, 2010 at 11:49 pm
I need to visit your blog more often, Talon. You’re a talented writer
September 14, 2010 at 10:30 pm
Loved listening to the words and sounds of this lovely poem Adam, the feel stuck with me more despite loving the words as well. Nicely done always enjoy reading you as well 🙂
September 14, 2010 at 11:51 pm
Julliette, your writing always shows great skill across many different types of posts you share. cheers 🙂
September 15, 2010 at 12:17 am
Just about the right words needed to paint the picture your poem intends to…well done, my friend.
P.s I’m glad to be available today while you host, never been present when you host. Have a beautiful half week.
Cheers!
September 15, 2010 at 12:21 am
You’re awesome, Em. Enjoy the work. Been reading some great poetry all night. I’ll be back in a few hours for more. Cheers, bro
September 15, 2010 at 2:27 am
And then I heard an old door creak open….
Eerie … but I am guessing that’s exactly how you wanted it to be!
On a serious note, I see the analogy… and it’s simply brilliant!!
You really are getting to be the king of few words now, Adam!! You rock!! 🙂
September 15, 2010 at 6:54 am
Hey Kavita. I have a ton of respect for writers of haiku. It’s a difficult form and to do it well takes skill and patience. I read lots of haiku on twitter 🙂
September 15, 2010 at 9:14 am
I don’t know if you’ve already read his work… but here is one Haiku guru I follow in blogosphere 🙂
September 15, 2010 at 3:41 am
How nice to be able to hear you read your work!
September 15, 2010 at 6:55 am
Appreciate that, Carmen 🙂 TY
September 15, 2010 at 5:17 am
Oh, I could almost physically feel those splinters. And “this starter dream” — takes on a whole new meaning in this current home-buying nightmare. You manage to pack a range of emotions in so few lines. Impressive, Adam. A pleasure to read. Thanks for sharing.
September 15, 2010 at 7:00 am
Hi Belinda. Thanks. My starter dream has been my 2nd novel; to me it became more important than any place. Ah, the naivete of this novelist. lol Cheers
September 15, 2010 at 5:19 am
A house with character..lol! great one shot 🙂
September 15, 2010 at 7:02 am
Hi River. The house may have multiple personalities. lol
September 15, 2010 at 8:17 am
The “crumbling grout” gives this a really tactile feel. Nice!
September 15, 2010 at 8:43 am
perfect picture. just splendid.
September 17, 2010 at 5:30 am
Hi trisha! TY
September 15, 2010 at 8:56 am
Very elegant write Adam. Love and Light, Sender
September 15, 2010 at 10:05 am
Floorboards curl…
Yet I love old house. So much of memories, feelings, emotions..
wonderful verse!
nowhere island
September 15, 2010 at 11:00 am
Minimal and effective. Nice one, Dustus!
September 15, 2010 at 11:14 am
You paint a vivid picture of this house for us, characterizing in what might have taken others twice the lines or more. Good work – though I don’t think I would want to live there!…by which I mean, I already live there. Silly college life.
September 15, 2010 at 11:19 am
Adam:
I love how you added your voice and read your poem, listening to you recite, and where you placed the emphasis give it an extra dimension.
You could possibly be a Tanka — I didn’t count the syllables but I bet it was close. Although many writers of English-language doing a tanka use less than 31 syllables
Joanny
http://thedowsersdaughter.blogspot.com
September 15, 2010 at 11:20 am
Ah, the joys of home renovation. You do a good job of describing, in just a few words, the character of that old house.
September 15, 2010 at 12:20 pm
And the smell of the wood…. I always remember this when I think of my great-aunt-who-raised-me’s house. You have captured the feel so well here, Adam. Happy One-Shot Wednesday! 🙂 heartspell
September 15, 2010 at 1:05 pm
Adam. This work so compact – true poem where each word carries so much meaning/emotion/levels. The effect of nostalgia, longing, and realizing your lives in that “starter” were snagged on those splinters. Excellent. Gay (@beachanny)
September 15, 2010 at 2:18 pm
hi ya adam…finally made it…a great start to a wonderful oneshot..so much said..so tight..so descriptive..so well written…so you..excellent mate..cheers pete
September 15, 2010 at 3:58 pm
Good afternoon,
a complete story within a few words,
very bittersweet emotions about your old house.
beautiful job!
September 15, 2010 at 4:56 pm
loved this adam, high on imagery, good smooth lines 🙂
September 15, 2010 at 6:22 pm
short piece but many memories (good & bad)
September 15, 2010 at 7:22 pm
Old houses are gifts to mine, and what you do here in so few words is just wonderful.
I so enjoy hearing poetry read aloud; to hear, if this can be said, the voice in the poet’s head while the poem was being written. You have a very good reading voice.
September 17, 2010 at 5:39 am
Appreciate your feedback, Maureen, and enjoy reading your work!
September 15, 2010 at 10:07 pm
Hope all is well. You are doing amazing work. Stay happy. Stay well. “)
September 17, 2010 at 5:38 am
All is well, my friend.
*smiles*
September 15, 2010 at 11:15 pm
Dear Adam,
I loved reading this but I loved listening to the words being read better! Four little lines conjuring a century old abandoned dilapidated house. Amazing unassuming unpretentious work!
September 17, 2010 at 5:37 am
Cool. Glad you liked the reading better; it’s nice to hear that 🙂
September 15, 2010 at 11:38 pm
Regardless of the shape they are in, old houses speak. I like this, Adam.
September 16, 2010 at 12:14 am
I love it.. Hope everything goes well.. Happy One SHot..
–Someone Is Special–
September 17, 2010 at 5:36 am
Love the title of your blog! cheers
September 16, 2010 at 1:16 pm
you have a way to create such a lot of atmosphere in a few words – love it!
September 16, 2010 at 3:56 pm
LOVE the reading! What a great idea! Lovely verse.
http://mairmusic.wordpress.com/
September 16, 2010 at 3:57 pm
Good work Dustus !! loved this 🙂
September 16, 2010 at 4:46 pm
Hi Dustus, very good poem about the old house. Really creepy and dreamlike – my opinion anyway.
Best wishes,
Lawrence
September 17, 2010 at 5:33 am
Hi Lawrence. It is a bit creepy; creaky too. lol
September 16, 2010 at 9:21 pm
This is wonderful and brought back memories of the first little home that we had to give a major “face-lift.”
September 17, 2010 at 5:32 am
sounds like a ton of work!
September 16, 2010 at 9:59 pm
OMG, I love this. I played the audio and got goosebumps.
This is my first shot at One Stop Wednesday, oh the fun I had.
I thank you down to my marrow for this, much appreciation to you!
~xo
September 17, 2010 at 5:33 am
Great to see you participate in One Shot, Lori!
September 16, 2010 at 10:46 pm
Wonderful use of meter here. It really flows well.
September 17, 2010 at 5:31 am
Thanks, Bill.
Appreciate Everyone’s comments.
An amazing One Shot Wednesday!
September 19, 2010 at 7:19 am
I loved this poem. Is it a beginning or end for the old house? It could be interpreted both ways. Great One Shot!